The Tyler Durden Theorem
THERE Is this great scene in the movie Fight Club, where the character Tyler Durden drags a random store clerk out into a car park at the rear of the store where he works, holds a gun to his head, and asks him what he really wanted to be in life. It’s a fantastic and thought provoking scene from a great, and thought provoking movie. However, we can learn something with a much wider scope from this brutal theorem of Tyler Durden’s that can be applied to our everyday lives.
WE All have to make choices in life, some can be small and almost insignificant, and other can be impacting pivot points in our life that can make an Earth shattering change. Almost all, however, will come down to a fifty-fifty decision point. Do I do A, or do I do B? How do I make this hard decision?
THE Thing that I have come to learn, and I’m now going to share, is that there are no hard decisions to make in life, only perceived hard decisions. This statement may come as a shock to some, and old news to others. There will even be one or two of you thinking I’m full of crap, this can’t be true and you are now running down the list of life changing decisions you have had to make over the years in your mind’s eye. This last bit is something called 'Connecting the Dots', which is something I’ll talk about another day and is a very interesting technique you can use to review and learn from your past decision making.
THE Thing is, all of those decisions that you have just listed, all were easy decisions to make for one simple reason, your gut. We all come from a long line of evolution that has honed and shaped not only the way we look, but also the way we think. This instinct is what drives us to know what to do and how to do it. It millions of years of learning embedded at a genetic level, and choices we make in life are steered by this ‘Gut Instinct’. Why the decision becomes hard is if we do not possess the, ‘Courage of Our Convictions’. We always know what we need to do in any situation, we always know what desired outcome we want, or even what the right thing to do is. Our gut tells us this, we just need to have the courage to follow it.
HERE Is a thought experiment for you.
GET A coin, think about a decision with two outcomes, pick ‘heads’ or ‘tails’, flick it in the air and when it lands cover it up. Now, before you look at the result you already know what outcome you want don’t you. Your gut (or your heart) is tugging away at you say, ‘heads’ for example. Because you know instinctively this is the result you need.
IF You don’t believe me think about a time when you flipped a coin to make a decision, you’ll remember sitting there think, ‘come on, tails!’.
SO, What you need to do is, simply not peek at the result, discard the coin and just do the right thing, have the courage to do so and stop hiding in your fears of making a bad call. That’s all it takes, be brave and follow your gut, or your heart, and just slide!